I can feel my heart clogging
There once was a pig from Peru,
Who said, “I love bacon, too.
I know it’s a sin, but I can’t help but give in,
Bacon just makes me go WOO!”
Bacon, bacon on my mind
Will you give me a big behind?
NO I say, this can’t be true
Fatty pork is good for you
So when you walk that market aisle
A package of bacon should make you smile
Be not afraid of it on your plate
Your mood, you see, will elevate
Bacon. Bacon on my mind
In the fridge you are enshrined!
The bacon sizzles
and greasy ambassadors
fall upon the stove.
Bacon you are divine
Even though I fear a size 59
But still, I gobble up your meat
Then hit the gym in caloric defeat
Oh bacon, how I love your juicy strips
Is all this fat going straight to my hips?
I don’t care what everyone will think
Bacon, you are perfect with a drink
You are what you eat they say,
Will I turn into a hog someday?
The Problem With Bacon
Is the darned sodium.
My high blood pressure pills
sit exactly one foot away
as a reminder that bacon needs
to be out of the equation.
Sometimes, I will slip a couple
of those dark red slices on a turkey sandwich,
just for a little extra flavor,
just for the thought of being a little defiant.
And certainly, some bacon pieces from a jar
on the top of some frozen pizza can’t hurt me.
It has less fat than pan fried,
or so the jar tells me.
Turkey bacon is a nice alternative.
It does get quite crispy
and almost matches the aroma.
However, the texture isn’t quite the same.
The experience is not as satisfying.
There isn’t really a problem with bacon,
except that I could never really give it up.
It has me firmly in its salty,
maple cured grasp.
Sweet sweet slab of meat
There’s someone you should meet
It’s my mouth, sucka.
The meat sizzles now
Bubbling in that hot pan
Get in my mouth, now!
The pig is now dead
That thing should be sainted though
Heavens me, bacon!
The perfect dinner
The thick steak wrapped in bacon
Then wrapped in bacon
The perfect breakfast
Bacon omelet with bacon
With side of bacon
The perfect lunch is?
A BLT with more B
Then a lot more B
It courses through my body
Eating pig carcass
With words I cannot express
That without bacon we’re under duress
Pork uniting us equally
With a love that’s delightfully
Positive and exuberant
Bacon is a hate deterrent
Salty, crunchy and addicting
It’s utterly delicious and uplifting